What?

[Her nose wrinkles up as her eyes widen a little, and she shakes her head.]

No, I haven't been doing this for more than a couple months. I'm just talking out loud so I know what to do.

[Oh gosh, she really hopes he doesn't think she's trying to boss him around or something. The thought of that mortifies her, and she soothes her anxiety by downing what's left of her glass of wine and pouring herself another.]

I guess the more I let myself not be afraid of doing things that used to scare me, I get more and more reckless.