Dec. 16th, 2023 at 5:56 PM
[Racing down the interstate as fast as they fucking can, Johnnie tugs Chrissy closer and ducks low over his bike. They're streamlined now, they'll pick up just a little bit more speed, and then they can outride this giant evil fucking wasp for sure -
His eyes blink slowly against the light in the room, and then he frowns and lifts his pillow from under his head and flings it at the alarm clock on the bedside table. That shouldn't work, except that it falls off the table and unplugs in the process, leaving the room blissfully silent.
And now he doesn't have a pillow. Shit.]
Ugh. Hey, you up?
[Like Chrissy could sleep through that.
Soon enough though, he rolls on out of bed, gets the water going, tugs fresh clean clothing out of his bag, then checks on that shower. Yep, nice and hot. Time to get clean and ready for the day.]
Whatcha think? Wanna check out the cafe for breakfast? Maybe we can make 'em do some eggs an' pancakes even though they're gonna say it's dinner only now. I hate when places do that, it's such fuckin' bullshit.
His eyes blink slowly against the light in the room, and then he frowns and lifts his pillow from under his head and flings it at the alarm clock on the bedside table. That shouldn't work, except that it falls off the table and unplugs in the process, leaving the room blissfully silent.
And now he doesn't have a pillow. Shit.]
Ugh. Hey, you up?
[Like Chrissy could sleep through that.
Soon enough though, he rolls on out of bed, gets the water going, tugs fresh clean clothing out of his bag, then checks on that shower. Yep, nice and hot. Time to get clean and ready for the day.]
Whatcha think? Wanna check out the cafe for breakfast? Maybe we can make 'em do some eggs an' pancakes even though they're gonna say it's dinner only now. I hate when places do that, it's such fuckin' bullshit.
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[He pulls on into one of the handful of parking spaces off the side of the road by the building. It looks old, but then again, he's not sure how to tell if it's actually old or if it's made to look old for tourists. They're not the only ones parked here, but it must not be the most popular stop.
Well, no harm checking it out. He grabs his backpack as he hops on out of the car.]
"Carter's Canyon Corner". Maybe they got sunglasses, I think I need 'em out here. Actually, maybe they got ice, that'd be even better.
[One step up onto the porch suggests that maybe this place actually is old. The trim around the door is freshly painted, sure, but the plank under his foot sags and creaks as he goes to hold the door for Chrissy.]
You think this was a saloon once, maybe? Like in Texas?
Only to stop once they're inside and pull those sunglasses right back on up. It's actually pretty dimly lit in here.]
It definitely could've been a saloon, look over there. That used to be a bar a long time ago.
[Now it's just holding stands of pamphlets and maps. She'll gladly go get all of those in a minute, she just has to look around first. It's pretty rustic in here, with an old man behind the cash stand, and a younger man stocking a display of souvenirs with some t-shirts.
It's hard to tell what decade they're in standing in this place. It's rustic in a way that could be either timelessly fun or gross and outdated, depending on someone's mood. Right now, she's thinking it's pretty fun.]
It's so quiet in here. I wonder how this place stays open.
[She whispers that to Johnnie before she makes her way over to the old bar top to pick up one pamphlet after another. As soon as her hands touch at a folded up map of the area, there's the sound of rustling from behind the bar. She leans back in surprise, and is shocked to see an ancient man in overalls standing back there.]
You don't want to be using that one, girly.
[He asks her, and she points at her chest to make sure he's talking to her.]
Yeah you, girly! Those new maps there ain't gonna get you any closer to the treasure.
[Treasure is out there?!
She glances over toward Johnnie and hisses his name in a whisper, beckoning him over with a cave of her hand. This guy is obviously a ghost like they are, so there's no telling what kind of great stories he'll have to share.]
And the mirror on the rack also points out that he hasn't done a thing with his hair today, and that's just going to have to be how it is. Floppy. Not cool. Makes him look like a kid, in his opinion. But, whatever, Chrissy is the only one who's going to see much of him anyway, and fuck everyone else, really.
On hearing her whisper his name, he comes on over with a pair of sunglasses shoved into his pocket, and regards the old guy with a raised eyebrow.]
Man outta time, ain'tcha? What're you hangin' around here for?
[The old ghost grins, revealing gaps where some of his teeth should be.]
Aw, lookit that, girlie's got a friend. You lookin' for treasure too, boy? Yeah, you look the type. This one's more than just gold, more than diamonds! Hah! But you're only gonna git it if you're brave enough. Or dumb enough!
[The old dude cackles to himself, leaving Johnnie to furrow his brows as he tries to work out what the hell this guy is on about. He folds his arms on the bar top and leans forward, a smirk on his lips.]
Uh huh. If you know all about it, why are you here? What're you not tellin' us? I'm not a fuckin' idiot, I ain't gonna go run off to some fuckin' deathtrap.
[The old man presses a finger to his lips.]
Oooh, language, boy! Shame on you, talkin' like that around a lady!
Gosh, she wants to be up on him right now.
But there the old guy is, talking about treasure, and Johnnie engages and they're definitely stuck in a conversation with another ghost instead of sneaking away to some dark corner to touch one another.
It's really a struggle to be her sometimes.]
Oh, he can talk like that. I don't fucking mind.
[See?
The f-word never hurt anyone. She laughs it off with a shrug, and the old guy's jaw drops in shock.]
Gone done never heard a lady talk like that before, n'er in all my years!
[But he's not offended by it, just shocked. Chrissy thinks that maybe he's more shocked by the shades of neon she's decked out in, she's pretty blinding. He studies her for a few seconds before pulling a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket. It's old and well worn, and Chrissy coughs as dust flies up when he slams it down on the counter.]
I ain't sendin' you off to some deathtrap, boy. Me and my boys, we've been hunting the biggest darn treasure this here canyon's ever seen! Course, they're all gone now, and it's just me left. But down there at the bottom, all the way on down, is something real special.
[Well, Chrissy may be distracted by being horny thanks to thinking about her boyfriend in sunglasses, but she can still be intrigued by this guy too.]
More special than diamonds?
[She reaches out to slide the piece of paper toward her and unfolds it. It's an old map, definitely not from this century. But it's all the trails and paths down to the bottom, with big x's put on areas where he must have searched for treasure and turned up nothing.]
Darn straight, missy. A beast made of the canyon itself! Find it. Git it and sell it to the highest bidder!
[The old guy's laugh is definitely a little crazed, and Chrissy can guess he hasn't moved on or whatever normal ghosts do, because this is his unfinished business or something. A great big monster hunt.
That's...kind of cool, actually.]
I'm not sure if we're looking to hunt a beast. But I'm Chrissy, and this is Johnnie. How long have you been here looking for this thing?
[His hand pats at his chest, right over the bib pocket on his overalls.]
The name's Philomon Amias Narrymore. [Pleasantries aside, he casts his gaze over to Johnnie. Clearly, he's who is the treasure hunter between the two of them.] What about you, boy, you ain't gonna find it? I'll make it real worth your while if you bring me its head.
Yeah, maybe. I did wanna test out my hunting skills here. What kinda worth my while are we talkin'?
[Philomon's eyes dart between Johnnie and Chrissy, and then he grins and taps a gnarled finger on the top of the bar.]
Oh, I know a fella who'll pay top dollar. Let's say instead of sellin' it yourself, you bring it to me, eh? I'll get in touch with this fella, tell him you got what we're lookin' for, then split the sale with you. Sixty-forty, forty to me on account of me bein' the one to tell you where to look an' how to do it an' who to sell to! Whaddya say, boy?
[Johnnie really doesn't trust this guy one bit, and glances at Chrissy out of the corner of his eyes to check in with her to see if she's buying it. But then he looks back over at the old ghost, and grins.]
Seventy-thirty an' you stop callin' me "boy", an' we're in. Besides, I wanna see this thing, what kinda monster is it?
Seventy-thirty, and we -
[Good old Philomon must think women aren't worth listening to, because he taps one of those disgusting fingers up on the counter before slapping his dusty palm down against it.]
Ain't nobody ever seen it before! But it's huge! And ferocious! If you listen at sunrise and sunset, you can hear it growl! It's there, just waiting for someone to find 'im.
[Oh goodness. This sounds like a total scam. Chrissy politely smiles, but glances up at Johnnie so he can see her not so polite eyeroll. One more squeeze of his butt gets her trough this trying time of more hormones than her brain knows what to do with.]
Is it a bear? Because I think desert bears are a real thing, and -
[Again, he slaps his hand against the counter.]
Girlie, you don't got no idea what you're goin' on 'bout. It's not a bear, it's a beast. This world ain't ever seen anything like it. My granpappy used to go on and on 'bout it. The emerald stone monster. Like some kind of big lizard from another planet! I know you must be thinkin' what in the tarnation but it's real! It gotta be.
[Ugh.
This guy smells like bad breath and decaying dreams...and she's pretty sure that's old mineshaft dust and bat poop all over him. She pushes the map across the counter to Johnnie. It's his if he wants to take it.]
We're planning on going down there anyway. Do you want to see if his giant alien lizard is real?
Johnnie takes that map and does something between folding it and crumpling it, like if this asshole won't respect him and his girl then he won't respect the fucking map, that'll tell him. It gets tucked into a back pocket, and then he steps away from the bar and gives Chrissy a stroke of his hand down her back.]
Yeah. Yeah, y'know what, I do wanna see it. "Emerald stone monster", huh?
[Weird coincidence. He knows the star, and he knows the symbol Zazo used on his club. And now a beast that this ghost says isn't from Earth? Damn right he's going to go try to find it. Maybe even try to kill it, depending on what he finds, just because the ability to say he killed one of those horrible fucking creatures from out there is pretty fucking cool. Maybe it has teeth or claws or something he can keep, too. The head apparently will sell for cash but he's totally going to claim a trophy for himself.
Philomon is gazing at him eagerly though and it makes him feel like he's just taken some bait. Oh well, they'll find out themselves.]
'At's right, b- fella! Go on, then, no time to waste! You'll be richer than ol' Vanderbilt himself, you just follow my map there! Once you got your money you do whatever you want with it, yesiree. She'll love it, believe me, you can go buy her a pretty dress an' horses an' a villa in ol Me-hee-co -
[Johnnie snorts.]
Yeah, yeah, we'll see if your monster is real, first. Seventy-thirty, you hear me?
[He's playing at serious and tough but mostly treating all of this as some dumb joke, even if he's intrigued. And so he steps away, catching Chrissy's eyes as he tips his head toward the door.]
I'm gonna see if they sell ice here. At least we'll come out with one thing that's real.
I'll see if I can find some water to fill up our canteen.
[She leans in to give him a quick peck of a kiss, before pulling away to go do her thing. A glance behind her shows that wherever that old man has gone, he's faded back into oblivion for now. She really hopes that they can find his monster and prove it's real, but she isn't sure she wants to kill it. Especially since her experience with monsters has been downright terrifying.
Asking the clerk about water has her pointed to a sink in the back of the shop. There's no ice, but the water that comes out is cold enough. She drinks about half the bottle before refilling it, and ventures into the bathroom right nearby just so she's sure she doesn't have to go while they're out and about.
Johnnie is easy enough to find, since he's grabbing a bag of ice and is hauling it outside.]
Do you think we should use that map to try heading down today? Or are we still going down tomorrow?
[But now he's definitely leaning toward just going for it. Why the hell not? They have plenty of time and nowhere to be but here.
Back at the car, he opens up the trunk and tries to cram the bag of ice into the cooler. It doesn't completely fit, but it's so damn close. Instead, he has to take the stuff inside out, pour ice in, then repack the meat and whatever else needs to be kept cold.]
Can't really put the extra ice in the trunk, it'll just melt. You got some room in that canteen?
[And while he's pouring a few ice cubes into it, carefully shaking the bag so they don't just spill all over her hands, he thinks a little more about the prospect of going down into the canyon now versus later.]
I guess if we go down now it'll be hot when we start, but cooler by evening. I wonder how cold it gets at the bottom overnight?
[She's more worried about tackling the journey with only one canteen of water. It seems more and more like he's going to want to try heading down today, so she passes the canteen over to him and signals for him to wait.]
We'll need more water if we're going to head down there. I'm not sure we brought enough food either. Because if we get down there too late, we may have to stay the night until it's safe to head back up. I'll be right back, okay?
[She slips into the store and returns a few minutes later with two steel water bottles.]
Let's add some ice to these too. Maybe we can just go on one of the trails today, and then try making our way down to the bottom tomorrow? That way we can pack our bags better for what we'll need. Anyway, I'm wearing a swimsuit and really want to try finding somewhere to swim today.
We'll go check it out, all right? If it don't look doable with what we got, we'll go later. If there's really a monster down in there, it's been there long enough for that old geezer to know about it, so it ain't goin' anywhere in the next day.
[Before getting into the car, he leans in for a kiss, and slips a hand around to squeeze her butt. Payback, or something like it. Laughing, he pulls away and escapes to the driver's seat, then slips on his cool new sunglasses and sends a smirk her way.]
Besides. A swim sounds real nice.
Instead, she slides into the seat beside him and pushes her sunglasses back down into place. He squeezed her butt, so turnabout is fair play. That means she reaches over to rub at his thigh, which turns into palming the crotch of his pants. She'll behave after that, though she's the one smirking. He better be careful, or she'll tear his clothes off of him any minute now.]
Okay, then let's go check things out. Then go find somewhere to swim.
But otherwise he remains unfazed. Very cool, very in control. It's the sunglasses, lending him extra cool power.]
Yes, ma'am.
[He grins and fires up the engine, and races the little car out of the parking lot like he's got somewhere to be, making the wheels squeal as they hit the road.
It's a short few minutes to the park gate, and now he can see that the entry kiosk is in full operation, taking fees from cars as they pull up. There are two in line ahead of them already, meaning if they decide to actually pay, not only will they have to pay but worse, they'll have to wait.
But then again, waiting, and buying a pass, means their car won't get towed while they're poking around, because he's betting that's what happens if they get caught without a parking pass, and fuck that, the trunk's full of cash and weed and coke and also his guitar. They're loaded, in fact, thanks to that last register robbery.]
All right, fuck it, I'm gettin' in line. Let's just buy a damn park pass. Can't be that much, right? We'll get one for the week so we can just come an' go. I don't wanna park an' be gone all day on a trip to the bottom only to find out they got in here an' went through all our shit.
By the point they're stopped in line, slowly inching along, she's got her mouth working a hickey against his neck and her hand palming at the front of his pants like it's her job to make him squirm in his seat. He's just so good at playing it cool though that she can't tell if he's into it or humoring her.
Why that's a turn on to her, she isn't sure. Everything he's doing today is really great, what can she say. Either that, or getting as high as she did the night before was one hell of an aphrodisiac. Regardless, she's having a great time. Or she is up until she thinks of strangers going through their things.
That gets her to gasp and pull away from him to look toward the pay booths with narrowed eyes.]
If they dare do something like that, we'd just set them on fire.
[Does she mean the booths, the park rangers, or the entire area? Probably all three, since she does have an affinity for starting fires.]
So we'll just give them the money so we don't have to make the Grand Canyon the Grand Fire Canyon. It can't cost more than like five dollars to get in, right?
The sunglasses make it easier to stay cool about her trying to get him fucking turned on while he's just sitting here waiting, too, he'd swear it. It's like they put him in the mood to be absolutely unmovable while she gropes him - and maybe in turn that means that any moment, he'll do a 180 and shove her up against her passenger door and fuck her brainless. But that hasn't happened yet.
So he tilts his head to try and see the sign at the front of the kiosk that has the fees.]
Might be more'n that for the week, but it's more worth it than some park rangers confiscating the pot.
[He finally gets to move up a space, and now he can make out the sign by the window.]
Fifteen. Yeah, fuck it, whatever.
[Yes, it's expensive for his time, but not in the 80s, or the 90s, whenever they are right now. Bullshit decade. Time to dig his wallet out and cough up the cash.]
We've got plenty of money, baby. Fifteen is nothing.
[And there her hand goes, rubbing idly at his thigh as they continue moving forward in line. She's in a very good mood today, all warm and affectionate and easy to please. Not that she usually isn't, but she seems to be exceptionally so right now.]
Do you want to know something? I really like those sunglasses on you. They look so good. Your hair is so cute today too.
He tips them down just enough so she can see his eyes behind them, raises an eyebrow all seductively, then snickers as he pushes them back up to sit nicely on his nose. To complete the look, he slouches back with his elbow against the shoulder of her seat. It's that whole cool and carefree and in control appearance - the shades, the car, the light breeze in his hair. Must get her all wet between the legs.]
Just here to give you the eye candy you deserve, baby girl. An' I gotta say, I love those shades on you, too. You got some serious star power. Hey, when we get back, or maybe in Vegas, we gotta see if we can find some wet concrete an' write your name in a square like you're one of those Hollywood stars.
[Finally, fucking finally he gets to pay for a pass. The ranger, or whatever her job is in that kiosk, puts on her best impression of a cheerful enthusiastic greeter like she probably has to do a hundred times a day, how fucking exhausting. He doesn't want to fuck around here, they have shit to do and places to be, so he just pays and takes the offered map and speeds on ahead the moment he's allowed to do so.]
There we go, freedom. All right, let's see. The view right ahead we saw last night, but let's go check it out now that it's day, an' maybe have a look at this map from there.
[But he passes that map off to her so she can look it over first while he drives.]
What is wrong with her today?
Thankfully, they get through the booth without her getting into his pants, and he passes the map off to her and that gives her something to both keep her hands and attention occupied. This map is definitely more curated and kept than the ancient one they got from the old monster hunter guy. But it points out where they can park, and several different trails and viewing areas. But notably, there's no clear marked path to the bottom.
They can't mind people going down there, but they must not be encouraging it. Probably because people are stupid and will fall and die or something. But she and Johnnie won't. They're already dead, so what's the worst that could happen?]
This map is okay. It's not going to help us get down where we want to go. But it points out some trails and stuff we can look at today. No mention of a pool though. We'll have to see if the campgrounds has one. Or if there's a motel nearby, we can use theirs. Uh...after we appreciate the view and see stuff here, I mean.
[They did just pay $15 for the week. They might as well make the most of that.]
River's at the bottom, that's as good as we might get for water out here. Guess I'd better bring the fishing stuff when we go down there, an' maybe we can cook up trout or whatever for dinner tomorrow. Sounds fun, don't it?
[Assuming he catches any. But it can't be hard, right? Just hang out with the line in the water until something bites the hook?
Anyway, this view isn't best seen from the inside of a car, so he hops out and walks on up to the barrier with a grin, setting his hands on the top of it as he leans over and looks all the way down.]
Now that's more like it! Man, what a big fuckin' scar in the ground. Wonder what caused it?
Earthquakes maybe? Or a giant alien lizard.
[She laughs, glancing up at him with her nose all scrunched up in her amusement.
As nice as holding his hand is, she really wants to be in his arms. So she wedges herself between the barrier and him, and guides one arm up around her waist and then the other. Nuzzling back against him makes her sigh contently, and she's finally able to look out with a sense of peace and curiosity.]
It's so much bigger than I thought it'd be. It's a long way down to the bottom.
He pulls one hand away from her to tug that older map out of his back pocket, and unfolds it in front of the both of them so they can look at it together.]
So, unlike the other one, here's where this one shows routes goin' down. One's close to us here, out to this Skeleton Point, then down even farther. Suppose it's named that 'cause someone found a skeleton there once?
[Makes sense to him. And it's not that much of a stretch to picture idiots trying to get all the way down, or maybe all the way back up after going down, and dying in the process. This is a big, dry, empty place for bones to bleach under the sun. The occasional big black bird even flies by on the wind, and he has to figure, out here, that must be a vulture just waiting for any one of them to take a wrong step.]
[But surely they'll be fine and not turn to skeletons there. They're already dead, so it's fine. There's no way they'll die and vultures will come swoop in and eat their flesh. Nope.
Her finger trails along the path, and she realizes it's probably the most convenient way down. It may not be easy, but it's doable. They can do anything when they put their minds to it.]
There's also this path down here.
[She taps at one further down, labeled Death Drop Peak. Maybe the old man named these himself, because they're all pretty dramatic names.]
But maybe that one's not as safe, if it has death in the name.
[He looks from the map back out to the canyon, trying to lay the hand-drawn dashed lines of the map over the real terrain in front of them.]
I think the Skeleton Point one might be that there, see? Like it follows that ridge out, then drops down. Really ain't an easy way down there though, huh? Unless you start way upriver an' follow it down, maybe.
[And sure, they could do that, but it would mean hours of driving, and anyway he loves the idea of scaling up and down these steep canyon walls. It won't be easy, but it'll be so fucking cool to say they did it.]
C'mon, you wanna leave the car here for a bit an' walk over that way? Let's see if we can find where that trail starts, if that's what it even is. An' then we'll know for tomorrow.
Wait! We need to get a picture first! It's important.
[That's her cue to run back to the car and get out her polaroid camera, and jog back over to him. It's passed off to him on account of his being slightly taller and having longer arms. They're all smiles for the first picture, and she insists on a second of them kissing with the Grand Canyon in the background. It's one that will be good enough to be framed, she's sure of it.]
Good call, baby girl. Here, bring that camera with us, you wanna put it in my backpack?
[That way she can just tell him to stop when she wants to get it out. He covers the short distance to the car to grab that backpack, figuring it's easy enough to tote along anyway, and lets her stash it before carrying on toward wherever this trailhead might be.
There's already a well-used trail here, too - not yet at the point where the map shows, but one that covers the entire rim of the canyon, for people who want to see it on foot rather than just driving past.
Right around where he thinks maybe their old path branches off, he starts looking for any kinds of signs of old use, but man, this is not going to be a well-traveled trail and he's not sure there's much point looking for anything more than basic opportunities to make their own way down.]
Whatcha think, was he just tryin' to fuck with us? How're we supposed to find some trail one guy used once upon a time?
[More and more he's thinking it would be more fun right now to go somewhere with a view and just the two of them so she can live her fuck-the-cool-sunglasses-guy dreams. He knows she's having them.]